Day 91: Epilogue

Today is all wrong. That just seems to be the best way to describe it. No jumps. No strength exercises. No measuring the food. No portion allotments. Nothing.

Although I was loathe to do so, I took a break from the PCP lifestyle due to much encouragement for the contrary. I guess the best way to think of is as another experiment in indulgences.

I hate it.

Last night I didn't pack my PCP lunch and snacks because there was going to be an all you can eat food fest (aka "Halloween Party") at work. That gave me quite a bit of extra time in the evening.

Normally I play with my j-rope in the morning. Not today. I had lots of free time to do—well—nothing. I felt very lost and drifting. I still had my PCP breakfast. I just couldn't take a break from the program for the whole day.

The "buffet table" at work was loaded with cakes, cookies, donuts, creamy-jello something, crab rangoons, full fat cheese, crackers, apple cider, and a tray of finger veggies. Pizza and wings was delivered for lunch.

So, what have I snacked on so far?

—Some swiss and munster cheese (about 7 pieces).
—One cracker.
—Two donut holes (a plain and a powdered).
—One mini-glazed donut.
—Two bites of a sugar donut. (The greasy flavor just got to me.)
—One mini-packet of peanut M&Ms.
—Three Halloween Oreos.
—Two squares of cheese pizza.
—Two cups of apple cider.
—One sliver of chocolate cake.
—A boatload of carrots, celery, and broccoli.

Right now my body is really upset with me. I can feel those non-PCP foods in my chest and my stomach and my arms and everywhere. They feel like sludge in my system. I'm sluggish and sleepy. I can't get the greasy, sugary, cloying feeling out of my mouth. I wish I had my veggies, yogurt, and eggs.

Unfortunately, there's another party to attend tonight. I'm suppose to take a break from the PCP Life for a day or two. I'm not sure that's going to happen. I can feel the PCP Life wanting to reassert itself and I don't know if I'm strong enough to prevent it from happening. I may need to succumb to it's siren song before long. I don't have that much willpower.

I guess this is perfect for Halloween. This is probably the most horrifying thing I've experienced in a long time!